To Be Successful — I Mean *Really* Successful

Well folks, you would be proud of me: I did an asshole thing this weekend.

The details aren’t important — it wasn’t a big thing. I doubt anyone actually noticed it. But when I did it, or rather when I said what I said to my unsuspecting victim, I thought to myself, “Wow, what as asshole thing to say,” and I could feel myself skyrocketing straight to the top.

On a completely unrelated note, if you were going to send someone flowers — umm, you know, for no particular reason at all — would you send roses or tulips? I think I’d send tulips. Or maybe lillies. People like lillies, don’t they?


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